I remember sitting at the piano as a kid, feeling the ivory keys beneath my fingertips and the resonance of the notes moving around me; the hammers hitting the strings and creating a tangible hum.
Worship felt pure then. It felt safe. And it felt like an adventure. My heart would connect with my Father’s and we would create sounds and musical landscapes together.
Images of me sequestering myself away in my bedroom and sitting in front of my very old piano as a kid, free of agendas and ulterior motives and simply just playing to Him and for Him and with Him, are moving through my mind right now. I feel undone. It wasn’t about the “right” words or the “number” of times a song was played/sung. It wasn’t about the doing or the correctness of the sound: It wasn’t about anything of me. It was innocently all about Him.
I’m going to be honest: These past few years I haven’t wanted to play piano in worship. I haven’t wanted to climb onto another stage and play for yet another service with still yet another group of people because I felt a disconnect. I felt weary of it all.
Something commercial and formulaic entered the worship space a few decades ago, which somehow managed to partially cover my eyes of wonder with something less genuine.
Right now, in this moment, I am struck afresh by the sounds of my old piano—the hours I spent being lost in Him through the music we played together. I am drawn back there; back to that place of pure connection.
It was always simple. I am going back to simple. I love simple. I love childlikeness. Back when I was ten, eleven, fifteen, seventeen, playing note by note, I explored with my Father. Playing by ear, I created. Playing by feel, I went to deep places.
I wasn’t extraordinary or ultra talented. I wasn’t anything except His kid, and my heart and attention were entirely His.
A reformation is taking place within me—a reset if you will. A realignment with connecting into Him and leaving behind “a way that seems right” because in the end, that way always leads to destruction.
The piano and that invitation back into worshipping Him from a place of wonder are calling out. I accept their call.
Photo by Geert Pieters
Because Souls Are Like Gardens 